Judges & Judging

Judges and judging

by Steve Foran

I have attended shows for over a quarter of my life now and this is a purely personal view and any possible connection to any person either living or dead is entirely likely.

I got to thinking about judges this year and I reckon I've worked out the formula. Judging is firstly about birth place, it has nothing to do with knowledge, experience or achievements. Basically you have two options here, either:-

a) you should be born to a forces family and your father must be an officer. This then allows you the chance to follow a similar path, you join the forces, get some other men to shoot some of the enemy (optional if you are an American), pension yourself out on about £50K per year, you must then insist on keeping rank, for example Major-General I M A Pratt (retired). This will allow you to become a member of the KC and allow you to judge Shepherds if you want, OR

b) - Coventry (no)

Cologne (yes)

Hull (no)

Hannover (yes)

Dulwich (no)

Dortmund (yes)

Yep you must be born in Germany.

Now,the basics to become a judge. The next step - simple - always be first slapping the backs of the winners. Always agree with everyone, no matter how banal and join a committee. Don't worry about breeding anything, it will only get in the way of your aspirations (so to speak).

You will soon get a judging appointment now. Once you get the appointment go to every show and tell everyone

how you have always liked their stock. That will get your entry up at least.

Your phone will never stop ringing now. Christmas cards from people you hardly know, the lot. My view is you shouldn't sell too cheaply. A years supply of food or a holiday in the West Indies (minimum).

On the build up to the show I feel most people are tipped to give such and such the ticket. One of the best games is to predict the ticket. Here you see the list of judges for the year and place the winners names in an enveope before the show season starts. After the shows have finished you see how many are correct. When the show actually arrives it appears to be important to do things your way ignore your mate's dog. the dog you have used 61 times and the dog you have publicly stated you would give the ticket to. Well, at first, you must do this. Gradually you must weed out any opposition. Trrere seems to be one or two methods of doing this. Place the mover behind a plodder or leave your favourite second, until the last minute, stand the dogs and move No.2 to No.1 then hand out the prizes. Special note -the better judge will make a point of apologising to the owners of any regular winner not placed. At this point it may look like a "fix" so now you give the all important 'VERBAL" on the dog. This gives you the chance to justify your mistakes. (Special note: for UK based judges a limp or favoured hind leg is usually a good line. For our continental visitors you must use the words type,

typey, and typical at least 32 times).

In the challenge you must play the crowd. If your mate's animal is not showing, give everyone a chance at the front before giving your mate's animal the ticket. If your Limit winner is your pre-determined choice, but the Open bitch is a mover, put Limit first, Junior second, Spec. Yearling third and the Open winner fourth, that way the Open winner cannot run way with it. That would never do.

Special note to handlers; you should practice the art of looking surprised when you get the ticket. It may well be that you are the judge's secret son or worse you are both KC members, no matter, you must look stunned, punch the air AFTER getting the ticket (not before) and the odd tear may help, it certainly would not go amiss.

Finally you, the judge, must practice the all important MARCH to the table to get the awards, take your time now, walk back to the dogs, go towards the one that has led the challenge for the entire time. then at the last minute throw a body swerve and give the prize to the worst one in the challenge. One who is out of coat, owned by your mate and is handled by your secret son.

OK?

I trust this pen picture and view is taken in the spirit it is written. With a very large pinch of salt!

Enjoy your showing!