THE NOVICE'S GUIDE TO THE BREED

(or what it all really means)

By Steve Foran

Printed with kind permission of the Crewe & North Staffs GSD Club

The name of the Breed is "ALSATIAN" despite the rest of the world calling them something else, we, being British and under the guidance of the Kennel Club are in fact in step, it's everyone else who's wrong.

There are two distinct types of Alsatian the U.K., one has a Champion which could have gone all day" and one which does go all day. Now the Breed standard is really good because it defines in great detail the good from the bad. The Kennel club requires the breed to match the standards of the country of origin. So no problem there then!

Temperaments are all fine so don't worry too much if you admire an animal which tries to bite the co-judge when best of breed is being judged, because she is most probably not familiar with the co-judge. On the other hand don't bother troubling yourself if a popular stud dog appears worried or ill at ease when he is in the ring, it could be because the whistling from outside the ring is bothering him, or the handlers grip is a bit too tight or the judges wig looks a bit odd.

So by now you should find yourself well equipt and in a position to buy a puppy to show.  Now the single biggest requirement is cost. The more you pay the better your pup will be!! If you can find someone who will relieve you of a whole stack of ackers and one or two of your pup's litter when she herself is mated or better still the whole litter, then you are really onto a winner.

So you've now purchased your pup.You're on your own!!!! Now the time is right to make yourself familiar with some of the sayings and terms used in connection with my breed, sorry the breed.

ACTION (side)

This is when nobody from The Breed Council or the  member clubs runs around outside the ring.

ALSATION

The mis-spelt version of the name.

AMBLING

The way I walk to the bar when it's my turn.

ANGULATION

Fore-hand. Back-hand. Under-hand. Hind-hand. These are all terms used when you bribe a judge.

BLUE PUPS

Do not exist in the larger kennels.

(must be to do with size)

BREEDING PROGRAMME

Presented by Margie Clark on Channel 4.

COLOUR

There is no ideal colour.

(providing yours is winning)

CRYPTORCHIDISM

I think I may have dropped a goolie!

HIP DYSPLASIA

Usually suffered by handlers and it doesn't exist in all German dogs with S.V. 'A' stamps.

HAEMOPHILIA TESTING

Here all male exhibitors must be tested in case they get involved in a fight at a show. This condition does not exist in Germany and is nothing to do with Canto.

INBREEDING

This is when one show-goer likes another.

KIDNEYS

Quite nice in a red wine sauce.

OUTCROSSING

When one show-goer likes someone from another breed.

PREMOLARS

Can be added if required or removed if needed.

ROACH BACKS

When someone runs off with your smoke this is what you shout.

SIZE

Doesn't matter (so I've been told)

O.K. so that's the health matters out of the way. Now really you must become familiar with the 'slang' terms. Some of the following will be heard from time to time:

"She will make a good brood" - Don't bother showing that thing!

"If I'd known you were looking for a pup"- I could have ripped you off instead!

Outside Attraction - This is the method NOT used by members of the show committee to help an exhibitor to (allegedly) get the ticket when the spouse is judging.

Overrunning - What you should do when your dog isn't winning the race.

Fails on the Forehand - This is the method adopted by two of our committee members after the "do" at the N. Ireland two day show.

"I'm waiting for her to come on" - At six years of age??

"I think she should have gone up further"- Well someone has to be last.

"He's not a good judge" - I've never won under him.

Right so now you have studied the animal, the standards, working ability etc. etc. You have bought your pup. IT HAS TRAINED ITSELF. You understand all the aspects of the dog's health and of most importance, you can converse with the best of them.  So what next? Oh yes your handler!

Now contrary to anything you have ever read, the dog is of no use unless you have the right handler.  These people come in all shapes and sizes, but style is the thing that actually counts so below is a brief pen picture of the most common styles:

1)THE STRIDE

Here you should be fairly tall, focus on the rear end of your dog with the odd 'up' word of encouragement. Now step out with very long strides, always remain cool; this usually works well.

2)THE CLEESE

Height is not important.  Head turned towards the judge, hold the lead like a good 'B movie' cowboy holding the reins of a horse, shoulders back, tummy in, bum out, knees bent and off you go.

3)THE POSEUR

Usually performed by PSEUDO CELTS. A nice shiny shell suit is a must for this as it will automatically make the dog run well, ward off character problems and obtain tickets.

4)THE H-D

Here you must talk like Spender, lose the dog every ten to fifteen seconds and run with a limp; this gets the sympathy vote.

5)THE PLAYTEX

Usually displayed by the ladies in our rings. Here you ideally need a small tee-shirt, a cold wind and a bumpy surface; this style impresses our Scandinavian judges.

There you have it, you are ready to go, complete in every way, ready to enter into the quaint, friendly world of showing your ALSATIAN!

Good luck and if you need any further help or advice watch out for part 2 of this, 'the novices guide to the breed'.

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